Mental Health Therapy Services for Anxiety, Depression, Stress, Trauma | Lifelong Living Counselling Services - Blog

Recognizing Mental Distress

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Stress, sadness, anxiety. These are common things we all feel from time to time. However, when these feelings persist and start affecting your daily functioning and sense of well-being, it may be your body asking you to pay closer attention. It may be a sign of mental health issues or distress.

Emotions are confusing, ammirite? Sometimes it's difficult to determine what's a natural part of a human experience and what is something that needs some extra attention. For this post, we're not going to be looking at mental disorders or illnesses; we are going to be looking at general mental distress that may need attention. This is not an extensive list but includes the more common signs of mental distress.

Signs of Mental Distress

1. Persistent mood changes - one of the early signs of mental distress is frequent mood shifts. For example, you might find yourself feeling unusually sad, irritable, or anxious for an extended period of time, of feel these emotions come on unexpectedly.

2. Isolation - When a person is experiencing mental distress, they often withdraw from interactions with people and social activities. Or they might feel like they have to force themselves to interact with others and feel no pleasure from doing so.

3. Changes in sleep - Insomnia, oversleeping, or disrupted sleep can be indicators of mental distress. Also, poor sleep patterns can further magnify emotional or mental distress.

4. Physical symptoms - Mental distress can manifest itself as physical symptoms that do not have any other medical reasons for occurring. This includes headaches, stomach issues, muscle aches, or dizziness.

5. Difficulty concentrating or completing tasks - With mental distress, you might start finding it hard to complete both simple and complex tasks, make decisions, and manage day-to-day responsibilities.

Recognizing the signs of mental distress and taking proactive steps to maintain good mental well-being are vital aspects of self-care. If you are experiencing signs of mental distress, it's a good idea to talk to your doctor about it to determine the severity and find out if professional guidance will help or if learning self-help techniques would help.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Embracing Imperfections: Becoming Flawesome

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 17:56:28 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Perfectionism...it's a trap many of us fall into. If you've ever found yourself chasing that elusive ideal, surrounded by that constant inner critic buzz of "not good enough", this blog post we'll be exploring practical strategies to manage those perfection thoughts and discover how to embrace our imperfections. Click to read more.

We all fall into this trap now and again. I know I have! (Hello, my name is Sasha, and I am a recovering perfectionist). Many times my perfectionism used to (and let me be honest, sometimes still) immobilize me. I'd go over something a million times and avoid things on that fear of not being "good enough." Yep! Even therapists aren't immune to that perfectionism monster!

It's easy to fall into that trap of feeling like we need to be "perfect." And let's pause and think of what we're surrounded by. We see images of seemingly flawless people on social media or television and hear stories of these grand successes. But, here's the truth that many of us already know: perfection is an illusion. No one is perfect, and that is where the beauty of our world comes from.

Yeah, yeah, that's all great and dandy, but how do we get through this desire for perfection and embrace imperfections? Let's get into some practices and strategies that you can delve into right now:

1. Self-compassion
Why are we our own worst critics? (Well there is a science-y reason why, but I'll leave that for another post). I understand deeply how difficult self-compassion can be; however, practicing self-compassion is literally (yes, literally) life-changing. When we make mistakes or fall short of our own expectations, it's so easy to be hard on ourselves. But practicing self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer to someone we love (or if you don't love anyone, the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a puppy or kitten). Making mistakes is a natural part of the human experience, and it never means we are any less worthy of love and respect.

2. Reframe your mindset
Mindset is the way we see things, perceive things, and respond to things. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as your flaws or weaknesses, try shifting that mindset to focus on challenges you've overcome, things that you have received compliments on, achievements (no matter how big or small). When your mind is yelling at you about a mistake or a flaw, don't just allow it. Thank your mind for it's input, and clearly state back FACTS. You have a lot to bring to the world. But if you spend all your time focusing on the flaws or mistakes, you're not going to be able to see it.

3. Learn the magic of letting go
I hope I have not brought back any earworms of a certain song, but learning the skill of letting go with love, respect, and compassion is a major skill to pack in your toolbox of wellness. Holding on to past mistakes or regrets happens can become weights we drag around with us tiring us out and making us move slower. Practice letting go of things you cannot change, and focus instead on the things you can do to grow moving forward.

4. Surround yourself with uplifting knowledge and good vibes
When we surround ourselves with things that lift us up instead of bring us down, it opens up that safe space of embracing imperfections and feeling good. Seek out books and videos that talk deeply and truthfully about these topics. Seek out people who uplift you and who are balanced in talking about the good and the bad. Minimize time spent with people and in situations that bring your down and mainly focus on the bad.

It's ok to be imperfect. It's awesome actually since they are part of what makes us who we are. Embracing our imperfections can be a powerful tool for building your confidence, having healthier relationships, self-esteem, and living a fulfilling and meaningful life.
So let's all together now, take a deep breath in, and with the exhale let go of the pressure to be perfect, and embrace all the unique and wonderful things that make you who you are.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Hear, Understand, Connect: A Parent's Guide to Teen Communication

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 14:12:13 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

"Yes...No...Fine...Normal..."
Do any of these responses sound familiar when you're trying to have a conversation with your teen? One of the most crucial tools you can hold in your toolbox as a parent is learning how to effectively communicate with your teen.
And as we are fully in the mindset of back to school season, starting a new school year can be both exciting and overwhelming for teens; therefore, learning how to effectively communicate with your teen can help both you and your child with the transition back to school. In this post, we are going to be looking at how you can encourage open conversations with your teen.

Photo by Mauro Lima on Unsplash

Initiating conversations with a teenager can be tricky. Teens tend to make decisions and think using the emotional part of their brain (the amygdala) while adults typically use the rational/logical part of their brain (prefrontal cortex). Therefore, when an adult brain and a teenage brain come together to have a conversation, sometimes there can be friction or misunderstandings. As a parent, here are some ways you can use this knowledge to have productive conversations with your teen.

Active Listening
I think we’ve all been guilty of listening with the focus only to speak. Our brains go into: “What should I say to this?” or “How am I going to respond?” which has good intentions but sometimes can lead to ineffective communication.
Active listening is listening to understand the other person’s emotions, thoughts, and perspectives. It involves listening without interrupting, judgments, or being focused only on solutions. Below are some ways you can engage in active listening with your teen.

Put away distractions and minimize interruptions
Providing a space where you can focus on the conversation helps a teen feel heard and can build a connection between parent and child. Put away phones, turn off the television, and if you have other distractions (for example another child) make sure to go to a space where the distractions are minimal (for example, another room or in the car).

Use your body language to show that you are engaged and present in the conversation
Using your body language to show that you are engaged in the conversation can help your teen feel safe and heard. It can help validate their emotions and develop trust between you and your child. For example: maintain eye contact, nod your head, turn your body towards them. Sometimes, words are not even needed; simply your presence can speak volumes.

Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are questions that help minimize the one-worded answers. These are questions that begin with what, how, or why. Since teens tend to think more with their emotional mind, they might have difficulty articulating what they want to express or approaching a topic. Therefore, asking open-ended questions can open that safe space for them to express, inviting them to talk about something they did not know how to talk about. For example: “How can I help you with your nervousness about school?” or “What’s on your mind about the transition back to school? I’m here if you’d like to talk.”

Paraphrasing or summarizing
If you feel the urge to problem-solve immediately, use paraphrasing or summarizing to slow your roll and make sure you are truly understanding what your teen is saying. Paraphrasing or summarizing does not mean “parroting” what your teen says. It means evaluating what they say, and reflecting it back to them in your own words to ensure you understand what they are saying. For example: "If I’m understanding correctly, you're concerned about making new friends and adjusting to the new workload?" or "It sounds like you're excited about seeing your friends again but also feeling overwhelmed and you’re not sure why. Did I get that right?"

Exploring emotions and then going from there
Since teens think and make decisions that are emotion-based, meeting them there can help initiate conversations and create effective communication. Try your best to understand or hear what they are feeling (you can also evaluate their body language to figure this out). For example: “I can sense that you are feeling a bit anxious about being back at school. Would you like to talk about what’s on your mind?” and then after you hear what they say, you can try paraphrasing it to make sure you understand. This also sets the stage for effective problem-solving, if needed.

Validate their feelings without judgments
Validating their feelings means letting your teen know that they are in a judge-free zone and can feel what they need to feel. Your teen has their own opinions and perspectives and validating their feelings means respecting what they express, even if you do not necessarily agree with it. This helps them feel valued and boosts their self-esteem as well as provide that space where they feel safe to express what’s on their mind. For example, you can say, “It’s ok to feel whatever it is you're feeling. Back to school time can be tough, and we are here to support you.”

Express empathy
Sharing your own school experiences or maybe just times where you felt nervous or overwhelmed by a transition, can be powerful. It shows that you understand what they're going through. Share stories of challenges you faced and how you overcame them. This can inspire resilience and empathy and when they see that you've faced similar situations, it builds a bridge of connection. For example: "I remember how challenging transitions could be. I remember [fill in your story here]. It's okay to feel unsure, and I'm here to support you every step of the way."

Offer encouragement and support throughout
Sometimes, teens just need to express themselves and providing encouragement and support is enough. Also, if the situation needs that joint problem solving, supporting them through the process provides that safe space to develop a growth mindset. For example, letting your teen know, “I believe in your ability to handle whatever challenges come your way this school year. You've overcome difficulties before and know we can get through this together."

----
In the complex journey of parenting teenagers, communication can be a bridge of connection. Active listening, as we've explored, is a cornerstone of this bridge. By putting away distractions, using engaged body language, asking open-ended questions, and validating their feelings, you're not just communicating – you're building trust, empathy, and understanding. So, as your teen embarks on their path through the new school year (and life!), remember that you are a major support. Share your stories, lend your ears, and offer your encouragement. You've got this, and together, you and your teen can navigate the challenges of adolescence with resilience, love, and a deeper connection.

Take a Deep Breath: How Breathing Exercises Can Help You Relax, Reduce Stress, and Feel Good

Fri, 12 May 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Feeling stressed or anxious? Is your neck and shoulders tensed? Taking a few deep breaths might be the solution you need. Breathing exercises are simple, effective techniques that can help promote relaxation and reduce stress levels. In this post, we'll explore some popular breathing exercises and their benefits. Click Read More.

What are Breathing Exercises?

Breathing exercises are techniques that involve actively paying attention to your breathing and working with the breathing pattern. You can do this to promote relaxation and reduce stress. Breathing exercises can range from simple techniques like "belly breathing" or counting your breaths, to more complex practices used in areas like pranayama yoga.

What are the Benefits of Breathing Exercises?

There are a range of benefits to doing breathing exercises.
Mental and Emotional Benefits

As pointed out by the title of this post, breathing exercises can help with reducing stress and anxiety. By focusing on your breath and slowing down your breathing, you can activate the parasympathetic system and reduce the symptoms that typically show up with anxiety and stress.
Improving focus: Breathing exercises can help improve focus and concentration by oxygenating the brain. The practices themselves can also help train the brain to focus since it is a practice of being mindful and removing distractions.
Enhancing overall mood: Deep breathing can enhance the production of endorphins, which are natural chemicals in the body that can improve mood and reduce feelings of pain and stress.
Promoting relaxation: Breathing exercises can help promote feelings of calmness and balance to emotions. This can be useful for anxiety as well as individuals struggling with symptoms related to past trauma.
Increased emotional awareness: Breathing exercises can help you become more aware of your emotional state and better able to regulate your emotions due to the stillness that comes with focusing on your breathing. This can lead to greater emotional intelligence and better interpersonal relationships
Greater mindfulness: Breathing exercises can help you become more present and mindful in the moment, which can lead to greater self-awareness and a deeper connection to yourself and others.

Physical Benefits

Lowered blood pressure: By promoting relaxation and reducing stress, breathing exercises can help lower blood pressure and improve heart health.
Reduced muscle tension: Stress can cause a lot of tension in the muscles. By activating the body's relaxation response, breathing exercises can help reduce muscle tension and promote physical relaxation.
Improved lung function: Practicing breathing exercises can help improve lung capacity, making it easier to breathe deeply and effectively and bring more oxygen into the body.
Increased energy: By improving oxygen intake and circulation, breathing exercises can help increase energy levels and reduce feelings of fatigue.

Breathing Exercise Techniques

Here are some simple breathing exercise techniques you can try right now:

Deep breathing: Deep breathing involves taking slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You can try inhaling for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of six.
Belly Breathing/Diaphragmatic Breathing: If it is the first time trying this technique, it is easier to do it lying down. This is a technique that involves breathing deeply into the belly rather than shallowly into the chest. Place one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Breathe in feeling your belly to rise first, and then your chest. Breathe out allowing your belly to fall first, and then your chest.
Box breathing: Box breathing is a technique that involves inhaling for a count of four, holding for a count of four, exhaling for a count of four, and holding for a count of four.
4-7-8 breathing: This technique involves inhaling through your nose for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of seven, and exhaling through your mouth for a count of eight. You can play around with the numbering keeping in mind that exhales activate the parasympathetic system (relaxing) and inhales activate the sympathetic system (energizing).
Breath counting: This technique involves counting each inhale and exhale, up to a certain number (for example, 10). So inhale 1, exhale 2, inhale 3, exhale 4, etc. If your mind wanders, start over at one.

More Advanced Breathing Techniques (takes practice and professional guidance)

Alternate nostril breathing: Alternate nostril breathing is a bit more of a complex technique that involves closing the right nostril (R) with your thumb while inhaling through the left nostril (L), then closing that nostril (R) with a finger and exhaling through the first nostril (L). Repeat on the other side, alternating back and forth. Inhale left, Exhale right, Inhale right, Exhale left.
Ujjayi breathing: Also known as "ocean breath," this technique involves breathing in and out through the nose while slightly constricting the back of the throat (mouth closed, lips touching), creating an audible "ocean-like" sound.
Lion's breath: This technique involves taking a deep inhale through the nose, then exhaling through the mouth with a loud "roar" sound.
Kapalabhati breathing: Also know as the "breath of fire" or "skull shining breath", this is a energizing yoga breathing technique that involves short, forceful exhales through the nose, followed by passive inhales.
Bellows breathing: This technique involves taking quick, forceful inhales and exhales through the nose, while keeping the mouth closed.

If you feel dizzy with any of these breathing exercises, stop and return to your normal breathing rhythm. With practice, you can extend the time of practice.

Incorporating These Exercises into your Life

Breathing exercises are simple and easy techniques to incorporate into your daily routine. You can try practicing deep breathing for a few minutes before bed, upon waking up, in the bathroom, or during a work break. With regular practice, you may notice a reduction in stress and anxiety levels, and an overall improvement in your mental and physical well-being.

Breathing exercises are a powerful tool for promoting relaxation and reducing stress and anxiety. By incorporating simple techniques into your daily routine, you can experience the many benefits of intentional breathing.

Please note that the information provided in this post is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.
Photo by Sid Leigh on Unsplash

Understanding the Parasympathetic Nervous System and the Vagus Nerve: 9 Ways to Activate the PNS for Mental Health and Wellness

Mon, 08 May 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Have you ever felt a sense of calmness and relaxation wash over you after taking a few deep breaths or practicing meditation? This is your body's way of activating the parasympathetic nervous system and stimulating the vagus nerve. In this post, we'll explore these two systems in detail and their vital role in promoting mental health and wellness. Click to read more.

What is the Parasympathetic Nervous System?

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is a branch of the autonomic nervous system responsible for the body's rest and digest response. It's in contrast to the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which activates the body's fight or flight response in response to stress or danger. When the PNS is activated, the body slows down, and its physiological processes shift to a state of relaxation and restoration.

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body and plays a big role in your body's parasympathetic system. The vagus nerve regulates various bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, and breathing. It also plays a crucial role in the body's stress response system by modulating the activity of the SNS. The vagus nerve connects the brain to many different organs in your body such as your heart, lungs, and stomach.
When the vagus nerve is stimulated, it sends signals to the brain's emotional centers, promoting feelings of calmness, relaxation, and well-being. Studies have also found that stimulating the vagus nerve can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and improve overall mental health.

9 Ways You Can Activate The PNS and Stimulate the Vagus Nerve

Here are some ways you can activate the PNS and stimulate the vagus nerve to promote your mental health and overall wellness:

Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breathing can stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help to activate the PNS and stimulate the vagus nerve. Simply find a quiet, comfortable place to sit and focus on your breath.
Exercise: Moderate exercise, such as walking, jogging, or yoga can help move the body and stimulate the PNS.
Cold Exposure: Taking cold showers or immersing yourself in cold water can help to stimulate the vagus nerve.
Massage: Massage and other forms of bodywork can help to stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the PNS.
Acupressure: Acupressure can help to stimulate the nerve points throughout the body.
Singing: Singing can help to stimulate lungs, vocal chords, and stomach.
Social Connection: Spending time with loved ones and engaging in social activities can help to stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the PNS.
Laughter: Laughing can help to stimulate the areas of the stomach and heart.

By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you may be able to improve your mental health and overall well-being.

The parasympathetic nervous system and the vagus nerve play a crucial role in promoting mental health and wellness. By engaging in activities that stimulate the PNS and the vagus nerve, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, you can promote relaxation, reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and improve your overall well-being.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

The Sympathetic Nervous System: Exploring the Mind-Body Connection of Anxiety, Past Trauma, and Panic Attacks

Sat, 06 May 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc. Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Have you ever wondered why anxiety, panic, or trauma memories can make you feel dizzy, experience difficulty breathing, make you all sweaty, and even want to use the bathroom more often 😶? Understanding the autonomic nervous system and its impact on mental health could answer this question for you and help you take control of your body's reactions to stress. Click read more below.

The sympathetic nervous system is a part of the autonomic nervous system which is a vital part of the human nervous system. It regulates our bodily functions such as heart rate, breathing, digestion, and blood pressure. This plays a significant role in our stress response which can impact our mental health and wellness. Understanding how the sympathetic system works and how it impacts anxiety, panic, and past trauma symptoms can be helpful for individuals trying to manage their symptoms.

Sympathetic Nervous System and Anxiety and Panic

The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for that "fight or flight" response which prepares our bodies for perceived or real dangerous situations. When our brains perceive a threat, whether it be from an actual threat, something we learned to be a threat, or even just an idea of a threat, the sympathetic nervous system triggers a chain reaction of physiological responses to maximize the chances of survival.

While this is useful is actual dangerous situations (such as being attacked or fleeing from a disaster), sometimes the brain can perceive non-dangerous things as threats as well (such as public speaking, taking an exam, or a social interaction). The reason why the brain might perceive these non-dangerous events as threats can be due to an incident in the past or even something that we heard that we feared was a threat to our survival. Now, a threat to survival in this case might be fear of being judged or embarrassed, fear of failure, etc. because somewhere in our lives we learned a belief that these things harm us. And, unfortunately, our brains cannot distinguish between an actual and perceived threat.

With this chain reaction of physiological responses, our brains send signals to release stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) throughout our body to pump blood to our muscles, shorten our breathing, and quicken our heart rate because the brain wants the body to be ready to fight or run! The digestive system is not deemed important to survival so energy is spent on these other systems that are seen as necessary for survival.

However, when there is no fight or no reason to run, these stress hormones linger in our bodies, creating an imbalance in our mental, emotional, and physical state.
The "freeze" response is characterized by a feeling of being "stuck" or unable to move. Again, the brain is trying to protect the body in a time of danger (think: evolutionarily "playing dead" to not get eaten by a saber tooth tiger). If a person is feeling threatened by something, the brain might initiate the "freeze" response any time the individual feels uncomfortable or in danger as a means of protecting the individual. If not balanced, the "freeze" response can also create feelings of dissociation, numbness, or a feeling of detachment from one's body or surroundings.

Sympathetic Nervous System and Past Trauma

When someone has experienced a past trauma, another responses can come into play: the "fawn" response. This response can happen with anxiety and panic as well (think: nervous chatter or giggles), but is more commonly seen with individuals who have experienced past trauma.

The "fawn" response involves a tendency to appease or submit to others in order to avoid conflict or harm. Individuals who exhibit the "fawn" response may be overly accommodating, have difficulty setting boundaries, or struggle with assertive communication. Many times, people who experience the "fawn" response were abused in some way and, in order to survive, tried to appease the abuser to prevent the abuser from hurting the individual. Somewhere along the way, the individual learned that using their voice or stating their opinions got them hurt.

Why is it important to understand this?

Understanding your body and what is happening when you are experiencing a difficult emotion can be empowering. It can help you gain back control of these situations instead of feeling like these experiences control you. For example, if you are feeling intense fear about going to a social gathering, with this knowledge about what is happening in your body and brain, you can understand, "Ok, something is making me feel threatened or unsafe here. What is it that my brain is perceiving as a threat? Is it fear of not knowing what to say? Am I afraid that I am going to embarrass myself?" With this exploration, it opens up possible solutions such as checking the facts or preparing yourself or making a plan to soothe these fears. Another possibility is that maybe there is someone who is going to be at the party who you feel uncomfortable with! And with that information, you can make more informed decisions for your wellbeing.

Everyone's experience with the sympathetic nervous system and stress response is unique and influenced by individual factors such as genetics, past experiences, and current circumstances. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to managing these experiences.

However, by increasing our understanding of the sympathetic nervous system, we can become more attuned to our bodies and better equipped to manage our symptoms. This knowledge can also help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health challenges and encourage individuals to seek the help they need to heal and thrive.

Remember, if you find yourself struggling with anxiety, panic, or past trauma, it's important to seek help from a mental health therapist to help guide you on the path to healing.

Understanding Teen Anxiety: Breaking It Down into Thoughts, Emotions, Physical Sensations, and Behaviours

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 03:00:00 GMT

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc Mental Health Therapist at Lifelong Living Counselling Services

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into its component parts can help us better manage it. In this post, we explore how thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours all interplay in anxiety, and what you can do to support the teenager in your life who may be struggling. Click to read more below.

How does anxiety work?

Before we can manage anxiety, we need to understand it. In a previous post (can be found here) we explored how to know if a teen is experiencing anxiety. We also looked at the purpose anxiety serves.

For this post, I want to look at a way we can break anxiety down, because many times it can feel like one big feeling. But in this feeling, there are thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours that all can interconnect and respond to each other.

For example, your teenager might be called on to answer a question in class, and she is unsure of the answer. She might think, "I don't know the answer!" and start to panic. This panic might make her start sweating, make her heart start beating fast. Let's say she responds that she does not know the answer. She might then think, "ugh, now everyone thinks I am dumb!" This thought might make her start to feel embarrassed, angry with herself, angry with the teacher, worry about what her peers might be thinking. With these thoughts and emotions coursing through her, she might then snap at the parent who asked how her day was. She might then lock herself in her room, feeling angry, sad, confused. And you can see how a negative cycle can begin? And how her thoughts can create emotions and behaviours, and vice versa.

And it happens to us adults too! But sometimes, with teenagers, a lot of confusion comes along with these experiences due to not having ways to self-soothe and understand their emotions.

So what can you as the adult in this teen's life do to help?

Enhance your own understanding of the inner workings of anxiety. That means understanding how thoughts, emotions, and behaviours interplay with each other.
Pay attention. Do you see any of the signs mentioned in the previous post?
Do not assume the worst if your teen lashes out or isolates. Instead, show up for them. And this can be in a silent way. Many times when emotions are high, questions can be the most unproductive thing ever! Try, "I feel like you might be having a tough time with something. I want you to know that I am here if you need me."
Acknowledge and validate their anxious feelings. Let them know you support them and never belittle their feeling. Instead, if you suspect your teen is having issues with anxiety, share resources with them. And let them know you are there to talk about the resources if they want to.
Guide them through problem-solving skills. Teach them ways they can look at their anxiety and work through it (Sign up below for a FREE copy of understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours worksheet)
Share your stories of anxiety! We all have had moments where we were nervous about something. Do not use your story to belittle their emotion; instead, use a story that will help them problem-solve.

Anxiety can be a difficult experience to navigate, especially for teenagers who may not yet have the tools to self-soothe and understand their emotions. But by breaking it down and supporting teenagers in managing it, we can help them develop the tools they need to navigate this challenging emotion.

Does my teenager have anxiety issues?

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 07:00:00 GMT

Teenagers will eventually turn into adults. I think this simple statement is often forgotten or ignored. They truly are the future workers, leaders, creators, innovators. And we want them to be WELL because a well them means a well world.

My reason for writing this post is to bring to light that many of our teenagers are UN-well. And we see it in the evidence of self-harm, suicides, substance abuse... Our teenagers cannot be ignored. They need healing.
Our role as adults, parents, caretakers, teachers, educators, etc. is to guide them. They need us (despite them denying this, because hey, trying to find identity is a tough task). They need us to support them, love them, guide them, teach them.

Now, onto one area of healing: Anxiety. Does my teenager have anxiety issues? Anxiety is a big emotion that many teens face; they have so much uncertainty placed before them, trying to figure out their futures while trying to find some sense of belonging. And that's just scratching the surface.

Anxiety is a normal emotion that we all have experienced at some point in our lives. It serves to help us "prepare" for something that is to come or alert us of something we are not quite comfortable with (btw, sometimes, I will be talking in universal terms (our, you) because YOUR wellness is vital to you and to your teenager's wellness). Evolutionarily speaking, anxiety served as a way of taking a memory of something bad that happened (even if it was not something that directly happened to us) and making sure it does not happen to us in the future. It is a method of our brains and bodies alerting us of possible future dangers.

Now, fast forward to present day... your teen was born into a high-pressure world full of technology that bombards us with the many dangers of the world (and we adults are experiencing it too). And, well, sometimes, anxiety can become a bit too over-enthusiastic about its job and trip into overdrive. The same evolutionary responses happen to our bodies to warn us, but now even nonthreatening things feel dangerous. When our bodies are in this state more than necessary, all the "safety protocols" are exhausted! Thus, we can become physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and drained. Our resources become depleted and our functioning is impacted.

This is where the "issue" is. All teenagers experience anxiety sometimes. But when it gets to the point it is impacting daily functioning or holding them back from doing what they want to do, we must pay attention. However, even when a teen is still able to function, but feels anxiety more than they would like, we should still help guide them to ways of easing that anxiety so that it does not grow into a problem.

Signs of anxiety

So how to know if your teen is experiencing anxiety? Anxiety can show up through physical sensations (most easily identified/observed), our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.

Physical signs can include:

Stomach issues (nausea, cramping, diarrhea)
Dizziness
Headache
Muscle tension/pain
Dry mouth
Chest pain
Sweating
Heart-beating hard/fast
Shaky-feelings/trembling
Trouble breathing

Thoughts can include:

Self-criticizing thoughts
Insults to self
Comparing self to others
Self-hate
Worries
Ruminations on past events
Catastrophizing thoughts
Thoughts on dangers

Possible emotions felt with anxiety:

Sadness
Anger
Irritability
Embarrassment
Confusion
Shame
Guilt
Disgust
Numbness

Behaviours can include:

Self-harm
Substance use/abuse
Avoidant behaviours (avoiding people, places, activities)
Isolation
Anger outbursts
Repetitive behaviours (hair-pulling [trichotillomania], nail-biting [onychophagia], skin picking [dermatillomania], compulsive eating of nonfood items [pica])

If your teen is experiencing any of the above more often than not, and the symptom/s is/are impacting their daily functioning, it might be beneficial to start guiding and teaching them ways to cope and self-soothe.

If you are interested in a PDF checklist to see if your teen might be experiencing anxiety, Click Here! You will receive FREE Parent Checklist and FREE Teen Self Report Checklist.

This content is for general information purposes only. If you have questions about anything talked about in this article, you should consult your doctor or other professional mental health worker. Nothing herein is intended to or should serve as a substitute for medical advice or diagnoses rendered to you by your individual doctor or other mental health care provider.
If you think you or anyone you know are experiencing any mental health issue, you should seek attention from a doctor or other mental health care provider.

Author

Sasha Baldeosingh, MSc
Mental Health Therapist